You don’t expect something like this on an online dating site, do you? It seems counterproductive and illogical to talk about the dangers of online dating. Well, the main intent and goal of this dating site and its staff, is to ensure the best experience for you, a dear member.
For that to happen, there are few things you need to ensure also and that’s learning how to recognize dating predator for instance, or what are the online dating risks for that matter.
In here, we’ll explain the most emphasized ones and teach you how to prevent each and every.
#1 danger of online dating is running into the dating predator
While it may seem that online dating site are swarming with men who have some deviant and dangerous agendas, that’s just an illusion. The fact is: it’s more common to stumble upon a sociopath in person than on the online dating service.
Why is that?
First of all, dating profiles are monitored 24/7, using advanced software, but also human resources – specialists in human behavior and internet scams, members of the security team.
You’re advised to report every suspicious behavior!
Second of all, there’s a number of professional tutorials for the members to learn how to recognize foul play in time.
So how to recognize dating predator, let’s say classical sociopath?
Pretty simple actually. But first, let’s go over your prevention methods.
You are strongly advised to do the following, in every communication, regardless of how it seems or feels to you (these are also general recommendations for global internet security; feel free to apply each, regardless of what you might be doing online):
20 golden rules of internet security for women
- Never use your real name; use the nickname instead
- Don’t reveal too much about your private life
- PLEASE don’t use your pet’s name, address or license plate for a password
- Refrain from posting photographs of your household or environment that may be potentially identified (landmarks and similar)
- NEVER EVER agree to meet with the man in person BEFORE you have his phone number, full name and address, and some background intels that can prove his claims and identity!!
- Stay away from men who refuse to reveal much about their personal life
- Stay away from men who insist to meet you in the early phase of your communication because they are probably up to something
- Disconnect from every communication with the man who appears available only during the specific period of time or have accented tend to moan about some personal issues – you don’t really want that kind of a man because he’s either trying to get to you by exploiting your innate sensitivity or he’s just a sissy!
- Refuse to engage into any form of communication outside the dating site and its legitimate apps; there are special security features in/on both that probably don’t exist elsewhere (i.e. IP address masking, complex encryption, and similar)
- If you’re going to add the strange man on your social network list of friends, adjust your privacy settings accordingly, but it’s not generally recommended that you add someone until you really know him
- Don’t click on links in messages, especially if they are seemingly leading to some other dating site, man “advocates to be safe and sound” – you’re dealing with the scammer and click will most likely download malware in your device that will collect and send sensitive data
- Don’t sign on your dating profile from public computers – each and every contains spyware!!
- Don’t trust the guy who’s talking about the money because men with money never talk about it, especially not on dates!
- Make a habit of conducting a simple online search about the man; you’ll learn more if you don’t limit yourself on reading just a couple of first pages; move deeper
- Don’t shy away from conducting more thorough background checks on your potential date
- If you agree to meet with someone, meet at the public place
- While being there, don’t hesitate for a second to get up and leave if you sense something even remotely suspicious!
- Make sure that someone knows where you are at all times (don’t forget to inform that person that you’re safe and sound in your home after your date is over)
- Refrain from too much alcohol and don’t leave your glass unmonitored
- Think twice before you go home with the man on your first date
OK, that’s general security, but how do you recognize dating predator – online or offline, all the same?
These fellows present true dangers of internet dating but also every other aspect of your life. I’m willing to bet good money that you stumbled upon a few in your lifetime, while in traditional environments, am I right? Yes, I am….
So, let’s teach you when you can cross the name from your list and disconnect from every future communication with the man — online or offline — who wants to mess with your head!
You see, there are certain signs that, once you know them, tell you how the man on the other side of the “line” or the table for that matter, may not be your best option.
One of the principal disadvantages of online dating and dating in general, is the possibility to manipulate with your own personal data, adjusting it according to your needs, distorting the self-image for some deviant personal agenda.
You do that also from time to time (or at least in the beginning of social interaction with the person you’ve met for the first time); everybody does at least a bit of “tweaking” when communicating with someone who triggers the “raw attraction” chemicals.
But when we are talking about classic sociopaths or every other type of dating predators, their game is rather simple to recognize.
First of all, his dating profile will be the exact reflection of your personal preferences – the ones you stated in your dating profile. Second of all, he’ll be “over agreeable,” meaning that he’ll agree with your every statement, but at the same time, he will never start the topic/subject. Furthermore, everything will be accompanied by the extensive amount of flattering.
Guys like that move in a predictable pattern, as they explained in one of the articles at “dating a sociopath” blog.
According to their expert analyses, obviously based on the excessive experience in the matter, the first step of every sociopath and therefore every dating predator is known as the assessment, which you may or may not make easy for the predator, depending on how cautious you are.
The second step is the classical game of seduction, where he’ll move extremely fast with all those sweet talks, compliments, flattering and excessive patronizing.
He’ll probably even try to persuade you into disclosing your social network details, using the simple method such as: “You can find out about me, my family and friends a lot more over there.”
Who the hell does that? Honest guy will send you a photo, wouldn’t he?
THE GOLDEN RULE:
Just apply standard social interaction to the case and you’ll have a clear signal that something’s wrong.
Nobody “falls in love” that fast. !
If you fail to recognize the foul play, gaming stage is initiated.
He’ll swipe through your social network profile, trying to gather as much information as possible to toy with your feelings. He gets off on that shit, that’s all, trying to compensate for feeling like shit because his father treated him like a piece of garbage. Thus, he also picks on someone weaker than him!
Once he manages to crawl under your skin after you let him because it feels like you finally found that special someone; your true soul mate, the love of your life, that’s when the final stage is activated – ruining!
It’s where he’ll become a menace only a firearm can eliminate.
15 things to pay attention to, react in time and prevent this serious online dating risk. A sort of “red flags” of dating game – online and/or traditional:
- If you are having difficulties verifying his identity, claims, stated preferences
- If the entire thing is moving too fast. It shouldn’t normally develop in a rapid manner.
- If he’s just trying too hard from the very beginning
- If he is persistently asking for your phone number, social network profile, personal data, and similar information, even though you made it clear that no such things will be revealed BEFORE you feel it’s OK
- If he insist on taking the communication on some other channel; most likely Facebook
- If he “deleted” his online dating profile, pretending that he “finally found that special one, ” creating an illusion of exclusivity
- If he insists that you do the same (the method of exclusion or removing you from the circulation, isolating you and making you his exclusively!)
- If he insists on meeting with you in the early stage of communication; BEFORE you are ready for that step
- If he seems to have quite a lot in common with you, which is not that common as people believe. We are different and normally we should be adjusted to our own environment and circumstances. Always ask yourself that one question: what are the odds?
- If his dating profile largely mirrors yours
- If he seems to say practically nothing wrong. Every word and every gesture fit right in, heating your blood and raising your blood pressure. Not even a glitch of disagreement and/or opposite standpoints/preferences exist.
- If it feels like you know the guy since as long as you can remember and beyond
- If he’s exactly what you stated in your dating preferences. What are the odds?
- If he’s the exact replica of how he presented himself online once you meet with him in person. Get up and leave immediately. That shouldn’t be like that. We all have that same tendency to communicate online in one way that may be described as more freely. But when speaking with someone in person, the “tone” and the “style” of communication do differentiate from the online ones. Deceptive minds of the sociopaths and dating predators, will replicate the exact same approach. If in doubt about the above stated, answer this: How many times so far, have you found yourself in a scene of some romantic movie from 50s? Nobody speaks like that in person. At least not someone with honest intentions. Not the man.
- If he insists, or keeps making obvious attempts, to sleep over at your place after that first date. MOVE AWAY IMMEDIATELY!!
As you could see, just a touch of focus and objectivity can eliminate any kind of danger of online dating but also life itself. Online dating risks are not exclusive. It’s just a standard human behavior, transferred to this new environment.
Same rules apply. Same methods of precaution. Nothing is really different then in physical life.
But unlike “physical” life, “virtual” one is providing you with the neat option to “pre-check” someone BEFORE you go out on a date with him.
Today, when almost everybody has social networks profiles, it’s hard to believe that, for instance, Googling the full name won’t retrieve almost overwhelming amount of data about certain individual.
So when you think about it, online dating and internet in general do provide us with more than we used to have in the past. The simple and efficient way to confirm someone’s identity, preferences, claims and even beliefs.
In fact, it opens the door for a unique opportunity to meet lots of different people, from all around the Globe; something unimaginable only a few decades ago.
Today, it’s practically a new normal to have a couple where he’s from North America and she’s from Africa or Asia. They got connected through the online dating service.
No reason why you shouldn’t explore that possibility.
Have fun dating online!
Article by: Igor Katusic